Saturday, April 3, 2010

Sorry all!

I was going to post amazing pics of the pups from Kari's blog but I am in the worst mood of all time. Yesterday I was pulled aside at work to be told that I need to change the way I dress because I'm too well-endowed and the male managers feel uncomfortable because they always want to look at my chest, which they're not supposed to do. And that is somehow my fault. They're acting like horny teenagers but I need to change. Oh and when I asked if this was going to be an across the board wardrobe for everyone change I was told it was just for me. I was wearing a dress from Target. In fact it was this dress in blue.
I said I felt singled out because the little skinny girls at my job wear this exact same dress and it's fine but it's not okay for me. And I was told well they don't have as much skin in that area. And I wasn't being singled out based on being not skinny and little like them. And that I could talk to the owner about this but it wasn't recommended. And that my manager's door was always open to talk.

They made me cry the whole way home. I felt cheap and sexually harassed. These men who are supposed to be my superiors look at me like a piece of meat. I can't be around them without thinking now "are they staring at my breasts?" and instead of realizing THEY are being inappropriate it's ME who has to change the way I dress because I have too big of boobs. Is this the 1950's where it's a woman's fault if she looks good? She deserves bad behavior from men because she has larger breasts? Am I wrong to feel like they are singling me out and discriminating against me because I have larger breasts? I feel sexually harassed. I feel embarrassed. I have no idea what to wear to work now because I do have size D breasts and they will always "show" in whatever clothing I wear. How do I stop that and why should I have to?

Am I really wrong about this? I feel unsafe and disrespected there. I don't feel like I can go back to work there. Am I overreacting because I just feel completely awful. Like I don't deal with enough men cat-calling, etc. in life now I have to deal with it at work from my "superiors"? I just feel so...icky. I called a lawyer and left a message to get some advice. I just feel like I need to do something so they don't do this to another employee. And I am going to look for another job because I do not want to be there anymore.

I cried the whole hour long drive home from work after this whole incident and then for another hour or so at home. I snuggled with the pups and my boyfriend tried to comfort me. But when someone makes you feel that ashamed of yourself when you've done nothing wrong, well it makes me feel sick. I have felt like vomiting since it happened. And I just want to hide in bed and never go back there. I know that is a bit dramatic but no one has made me feel this ashamed of what I look like since being called "flat-chested red dog" as a kid in 6th grade. Only this time it's about having too much chest instead of not enough. I just feel distraught and frustrated and angry and hurt. Any advice you can give to help me is appreciated.

Here is a couple puppy pic to hold you over to the big puppy post.

1 comment:

  1. men suck. The whole post pissed me off. And then you finished with the snaggletooth and I had to laugh. but still pissed off in general