If I'm being honest I think I'll be a pretty cool mom. Not cool as in Samuel L. Jackson cool but cool in the sense that my kid will know some rad and random shit, my kid will be able to play and imagine with me all the time and I will encourage it. I'm not going to pretend swear words don't exist-they do and they're awesome. I'm going to encourage my kid to read and question and learn, I'm all about getting dirty and falling down and picking yourself back up, and I live for random silly and singing and dancing and crazy. All of that is pretty cool, I think. I also know this kid is going to have a semi-insane mother and most likely will need therapy as an adult for some ridiculous thing I do or say. It'll happen. I'm honestly okay with this. Here's what I hope I remember though.
-To admit when I'm wrong and say I'm sorry. I am HORRIBLE at this, ask my husband, he always apologizes first because I am too stubborn and bull-headed to own up. I need to work on this BIG TIME.
-to tell my kids they are pretty/handsome AND smart. That way their kid brains don't think one excludes the other because it doesn't. It definitely doesn't. I know I thought it did for a long time and I do not want them to have the body issues I had.
-to not say fuck all the time. I know I will say it, again-totally cool with that, just not all the fucking time Alex.
-to teach them to respect the planet, the environment in which we live, the animals, even the grossest bugs out there because well, this is all we got. I don't want to forget to talk about this often, it's important.
-to not yell when they're being little assholes. It's hard, I know. I am positive I will yell at some point but I want to always go to talking first and asking them to stop or why they're doing what they're doing and explain why we don't do that, instead of immediately screaming.
-to encourage the vocalization of ALL feelings, not just the "good" ones because it took me forever to learn, they're ALL good ones. There are no bad feelings, they're just feelings and there is always a reason behind them and talking it out helps (thank you therapy).
-that anything about our bodies is natural and beautiful and not weird. You're a ginger who is tall and wears glasses and braces and is super skinny with a frizzball 'fro atop your head? Awesome! Mom was too and y'know what, it is amazing and gorgeous and just the way you're supposed to be. You're tall and lanky and have straight white blonde hair and crooked teeth and feel awkward all the time? Cool beans buddy, Dad felt that way too when he was young but he was adorable and still is and landed Mom (isn't he lucky?!). It's all good and normal and wonderful, embracing me will help my kids embrace themselves. So don't be insecure Alex!
-to remember that kids take everything seriously so when silly, hilarious things happen or are said I want to remember that to them it is SO important. To honor that important feeling in their heart. To also encourage humor and that life isn't always so serious.
-to enjoy food. Seriously. I want to encourage the love of food. It nourishes us, keeps us healthy, and damn it is delicious. We're planning on doing vegan for our kiddos until they are conscious enough to talk to about it and they can then decide for themselves. It's something I'm very passionate about and Joe is on board with me. I love food and Joe and I are both such foodies. We want to encourage a positive relationship with eating and food and body image. I want to remember this and never say things like diet or fat or skinny or any of that junk we're advertised to think about. Food is Good!
-to instill a love of reading and cinema. My imagination was (and still is I think) pretty amazing and it was due to reading my face off as a kid and adult and watching loads of films that are cinematically brilliant. I fell in love with pretend, with learning, with thinking outside of the box, with everything really from reading about it all and from seeing films that made me feel like anything was possible. I want my kids to also have that appreciation and encourage their imaginations to flourish through reading and from QUALITY films (not crap movies, there is a difference).
-to remember that at the end of each day I want to spend some time talking about their day, their feelings and thoughts, anything really. Just some quality time with my kiddos at bed. I want to hold on to that until they no longer want it. I want them to go to sleep every night knowing that I care about them and I love them.
All in all I think that will make me a pretty cool mom. In my eyes any way. Hopefully in my kiddos' too when they're a little older. :)