Monday, September 14, 2009

"Lord I was born a ramblin' man..."

Today is a potato kind of day. Seriously. Don't warm potato foods sound great on chilly, grey, fall-ish days? I'm wearing my velvety sweat pants and a beater and I want potato! Maybe it's the Irish/Polish poking out...

I'm a little freaked out by all the people I know that are engaged, getting married, married, pregnant, or just delivered a baby. I mean I'm only 24 and it freaks me out to think of myself in those situations. Is that wrong? Should I want those things? I just don't feel anywhere near ready for that stuff. I've been with Joe for almost 4 years now and that all still freaks me out. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm really happy for all my friends but for me just thinking about all that stuff gives me the willies. Maybe that's because I'm "an 8 year old boy" as my friend put it. I guess I'd just rather watch movies where shit blows up or girls turn into fairy princesses and play pretend than have all that grown-up stuff going on. I just don't think I'm ready for the responsibility yet.

Also I'm really missing fall right now. My little Michigan heart knows it's supposed to be chilly and full of fall foliage and what do I get out here in Cali? Mostly sun and hot and green leaves. Today was a little fall-ish and my heart felt like it would burst with excitement! I love fall, I'm glad to be visiting home in October so I can get a little bit of it and get to go to the cider mill and just enjoy wearing jeans and a sweatshirt! Ahh, how delightful.

I'm super missing a lot of my NYC friends right now. I wish I had money to afford a trip out there but I am SO broke ass right now. I have about $200 in my bank account and $600 on my credit card for medical stuff and my plane ticket home. Blah! I hate money, mostly because I never seem to have any. Ha! What can you do? I guess I'll just have to keep calling all of them and trying to stay connected that way since I can't go visit them. Boo!

I'm really missing a lot of people right now actually. Friends in NYC, MI, and Chicago. Also my family. And actually I am starting to want to reconnect with a lot of people again. Family members that have been absent for over a decade, friends that screwed me over, people I may have been shitty to due to immaturity. Is it weird that I want to capture the past and make it new/better? I dunno. I guess I'm in that place right now. We'll see where it takes me.

I've been working a lot and doing physical therapy/acupuncture a lot and am seeing results. I'm so tired from work all the time but my body is so much stronger and less pained. It's this weird combo. I've been craving more going out time though and wanting to get into trouble when I do go out. Which is bad. So I guess it's good that I'm broke because when I get like this I tend to destroy things/relationships. This way I am forced to behave a little. haha.

My hat/hair piece business is on slight hold right now but I really want to get on the ball about it so we can sell some amazing pieces and make some money. I love that people love them. I want it to spread like wild-fire. I also want to get my acting career going already. My boss (who is a successful actor, see him the Final Destination movie that just came out) says that all the stuff I'm doing is on track, that's how he started, etc. But I am too impatient to wait, I want it to get off the ground now and in a big way. I suppose I will have to learn a little patience.

I suppose that's about it for now. More to come, as always...

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