I am split right now. Super happy & excited on one side, the other side is super pissed off. I can't really put it better than that but I will explain what's going on.
So the pissed side because bad news out of the way leaves time for celebrating the good news right? Well, I am super pissed off at medical billing. For multiple reasons. The first being how am I charged $97,000 for my extensive, 2 surgeons necessary spine surgery and then $200,000 for ROOM AND BOARD? How is Room & Board more than my amazingly crazy procedure to go through the stomach to get to the spine and puts your guts on the table next to you? How is a place to sleep, watch tv, shower, and pee MORE expensive than a surgery with 2 surgeons using high tech expensive equipment slicing open my entire body taking loads of things out and putting them all together and not killing or paralyzing me? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? Please explain to me how the mark up on my Room & Board could be more than my surgery. I AM PISSED.
I am also pissed because the facility that I paid $3,000 a pop for epidural shots alone (just the physical shot) last year sent a bill I didn't even know about to collection's. Then I had to deal with a debt collector who didn't believe me, call 4 different billing offices for the hospital the pain center is through before I got the right one where the bill was generated from, and spend an hour on the phone arguing about how my computer statement didn't have these charges on them when I just paid it in full (that's right the entirety of the account) back in April. Why weren't these fucking charges there? Why wasn't I sent any notification about this bill being sent to a debt collector? The answer: it's my fault and that they don't have to send a notification out. ARE YOU SERIOUS? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?
I cannot take the medical industry's billing anymore. YOU ARE A SCAM. YOU ARE OVER PRICING EVERYTHING AND SCAMMING PEOPLE. I WILL NOT BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE YOU PIECES OF SHIT. I am so pissed off. I hate CAPS but I feel like that's how I'm talking when I talk about all this stuff, in CAPS, so obviously you need to see them too. I am so beyond frustrated about how this is okay. How is it that at 28 years old this is the type of shit that my day to day is filled with? I AM ANGRY.
I am really, really, really, really angry. Really fucking pissed off. FUCK! I call major shenanigans on the whole billing portion of the industry. GO FUCK YOURSELVES. I love my neurosurgeon-he is amazing. I love my new internist-he is amazing. I love my ob/gyn-she is amazing. I like (so far) the specialist I'm seeing for thyroid "cystic nodules" that were found. Oh yeah I didn't tell you about that. That'll come next. I love (or like) all of those doctors. They care about ME. They care about MY HEALTH. They don't (seem to) care about my money. I'm sure they love being paid and they deserve to be but when I see them that is not what we ever talk about unless it's to help me out since I am fucking broke. But the Billing Industry of the Medical Industry. YOU ARE A JOKE. Quit making up numbers to make a 400% profit on something. If a test costs $100 don't charge $3,000! Don't believe this is happening? Read this Times article about how we're all being scammed and nobody is doing anything about it. GAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! I just can't-I am so pissed off.
The other reason I'm pissed is another piece of my body seems to be failing. I have 2 nodules that were found on my thyroid. The ultrasound reading said they were cystic, the specialist I am seeing doesn't think they are as they're hard as marbles not rubbery feeling like cysts. So I did more blood work and I did a thyroid uptake and scan [that's where you swallow radioactive iodine to see what's going on in the thyroid and how it is processing the iodine]. The uptake and scan will hopefully show if these nodules are hot or cold [hot means they're working and the thyroid is overactive, cold means they're dead spots on the thyroid and it's underactive]. The blood work will show if the thyroid secretions are off and if my brain is producing an antibody that is attacking my thyroid [this is apparently pretty common with people who have family histories of thyroid problems which I, of course, do]. The good stuff is thyroids are easy to manage, even if they need to be removed completely. The bad news is the thyroid hormones can really mess up your body. Good news the nodes could be nothing, bad news they could be cysts or worse tumors. And I feel like "Great, another piece of my body that doesn't work". I was trying to keep this close to my chest and not really talk about it until I have more answers from these new tests but I am so SICK of my body breaking down. I know this is something I have to live with for forever with my back, I've come to terms with the chronic pain, the chronic degeneration of my discs, the fact that eventually I might have to have every single disc in my spine fused or replaced-FINE. I GET THAT. But now another thing. More medical bills (which I just explained how much I love [insert sarcastic Liz Lemon style eye roll here]). I AM DONE-STOP IT BODY! Quit breaking. I want to travel, have kids, be an actor who can do physical movements of any kind, finish my Second City Conservatory program, etc. KNOCK IT OFF DAMN IT. Ugh. I am pissed off. At a lot of things that are all medical. I hope I turn into the She-Hulk from the radioactive iodine and then I can She-Hulk smash all medical billing offices as a big fuck you. That would make me happy.
Medical Issues = JERKWADS.
Now the other side. The happy excited side. Joe and I get to go to France next week. To Dijon and to Paris. He has a math conference [all paid for by the university] in Dijon next Tuesday through Friday morning. Then we decided to stay until Tuesday in Paris to have some fun. Because after all the shit you read before this-WE DESERVE IT. I feel like I DESERVE IT. So we are going to site see, eat delicious French vegan food, enjoy a vacation where we don't have to do anything or be anywhere for anyone else but ourselves, and enjoy France. I am so excited. I haven't been back since my trip to Paris, Normandie, & Brittany in high school and I cannot wait to rediscover Paris and to discover for the first time Dijon. We are taking the TGV which I haven't done before so I'm excited to ride a train in France and I'm excited for Joe to see my Paris. I love my Paris, I'm so happy to rekindle our love affair. I didn't have a single unpleasant experience there [save one rude baguette stand gal and even she couldn't bring me down]. I love you Paris and I'm a comin'. I think my wanderlust will be revved back up and satiated a teensy bit too. I cannot wait! J'aime Paris!
Hope you dear chickens are well. I will try to keep you updated from France. Thanks for suffering my rants to get to the good news. :D