Thursday, May 21, 2009

"Until the barley has drunk up all the liquid and the lamb has crumbled from exhaustion..."

I got some not so great news on the old back front today. The x-ray shows I have minor disc height loss on my L5 disc in the lumbar region. And my blood work shows that I have general arthritic inflammation and my tri-glycerides are a little high.

So what does that mean?

1) They may have missed something in my original injury and that my disc has been compressing on itself for 4 years now.

2) Arthritis might be making my back even worse and maybe even my body in general more stiff and achey.

3) No fried foods ever for me again. I have pretty much cut them out but this means for real never ever. Not even just the once in awhile I do now.

So now I get to do an MRI to see what is really going on to cause this height loss and arthritis. But I just feel like this is such total bullshit. And now I really need to think about getting a desk job and stop serving. So I can get health benefits and so I can take it easy on my back I am really thinking about doing this but it really freaks me out because that leaves my schedule so rigid and prevents doing auditions/etc that I want to do for the career I actually want. This just fucking sucks and I've been on such a "being positive/optimistic" kick that this is really bumming me out and I am trying to choose to see this as "an optimistic opportunity" but I am so down.

It just sucks major donkey dick.
Fuck beans.

I think I just need to feel poopy about it tonight and then I am gonna choose to be positive again. I have to. Otherwise this is really gonna start to depress me.

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